The first thing you have to know about Ed at Gin & Apathy is that he's a funny, funny fucker. He will never, ever rue the day.
Note the text on the front of the box: "Model kit. Almost to scale." Of course, Crow Crag is a massive stone building in the lake district of the UK. This one is about seven or eight inches long, depending what mood it's in.
I started this project at around 11:30AM. Okay, so I used some old staplers to prop up the instructions - don't judge me. What I really liked about these instructions was that they were, for the most part, completely devoid of words. The instructional part could be followed by anyone with half a brain, no matter what their native tongue might be. Pictures and arrows, man. Can't beat that for simplicity.
There are two sheets of thin bamboo wood which contain all the parts needed to make Crow Crag. Thrown in for good measure is a small cutout of a can of Ronsonol. It doesn't fit anywhere in the building kit (hell, it's taller than Withnail!), it's just in there to make Withnail fans bark with laughter.
The pieces came out of the laser cut panels fairly easily. For the tinier ones, like the window sills (yes, window sills) I used the tip of the Ronsonol can to pop them out faster than Uncle Monty's eyeballs when he saw Withnail wearing plastic bags on his feet instead of Wellingtons.
I love this photo because it shows how inordinately proud I am of having achieved such quick success in my building career. Yes, that's an orange cheese grater on the table. I was using it to prop the instructions against. Don't judge me, shag sacks. I'm going to be a STARRRRRRR!
The small paragraph on the back of the instruction diagram says "Precautions: Carefully detach pieces as you need them. Use a knife if necessary, preferably when sober." As you can see, by the time I got the main structure connected, the red wine had come into play. You see, when I am given instructions, I generally disregard them. Besides, it was very nearly noon. Ish. I'm not drunk, I'm a multi-millionairess.
Here's me, studiously inserting the window frames. I'm making it look a lot harder than it was. Honestly, I don't know how they did it, but they made these tiny little pieces that are exactly the right size to snap together! There are even little details, like the lower ledge of the windowsill being a little wider, just like a real window - so you know what it is just by looking at it.
In vino veritas, and in self defense, I must also point out that on the back cover of the instructions (I don't miss a bloody THING), it says "Contains small parts. Not suitable for children. Not ideal without cake. And wine." So you see, I really do (sort of) follow instructions.
I've just about run out of wine. What are we going to do about it? I saved the best bits for last - namely the door frame, and Marwood wrapping his leather coat about him for a morning stroll, and Withnail holding his single potato aloft.
And here you have it, the completed Crow Crag!
Of course, being the film fan and photographer that I am, I wanted to create a "realistic" view of the project, so I took a sobakawa pillow, covered it with a heather-toned plaid shirt of mine (to evoke the rolling hills of the lake district), and set up Crow Crag, with Marwood looking on from the doorstep as Withnail unearths the small, hardened marble that is a lone potato.
And here's the same setup, with Crow Crag in focus:
Well, here's to Ed at Gin & Apathy - thanks for contributing to this crazy collection of mine! You are awesome, and funny, and you make great kits. If you were a wine, you would be the finest wine available to humanity.
